Long time no see.

Ok, I know I've only updated once since the end of April, but there's a good reason for this you see.

Number 1. Working a summer job. Doing demolition work outside for 10 hours a day leaving me tired and sleepy at the end of the day not wanting to write anything on here.

Number 2. I moved back to Canada. Yes, I don't find doing nothing exciting enough to post about. When I decide to do something, I'll post. (After summer job)

Number 3. I'm very very lazy.

Number 4. I'm not an English teacher in Japan anymore. That job provided all sorts of time to sit on the computer and look busy while I actually just wrote things for this to past the time. Now I don't do that, so once my life gets another routine providing me with some time to waste a few times a week, I'll know what to do.

So like I said, once things get some predictability going you can expect this place to be dusted off again and open for all sorts of funny pieces only a few people may care about.

I'm sitting on a whole bunch of junk just waiting to be updated and I've got a lot of (interesting) pictures and stories left over from Japan waiting to be posted and talked about so just be patient.

Oh and in other news, I was accepted to the program I applied to at SAIT. You can read about it here.

(and a special thanks to Glen who recommended this course to me. I probably wouldn't have known about it otherwise.)

I especially like the part when they said,

STUDENT SUCCESS

Students with higher grades usually experience more success in SAIT
programs.

Good to know.

Everybody have a great summer and I'll be back in about a months time.

Killer 7 Hands-on

Gamecube Advanced has some very revealing hands on gameplay on the, till now, very mysterious Capcom game Killer 7. Hurrah!


Check it out!

Electroplankton Video

If any one is interested in music and remotely interested in videogames or the Nintendo DS, take a look at this 15 minute video and see for yourself why the DS hardware is so exciting simply because of its untapped potential. This isn't a game in the traditional sense. It's just a tool to make music and to mess around with sounds. No high scores or battling. Just sitting around making music. I needs me some Electroplankton!

Electroplankton video.

Thanks to 4 color rebellion for providing such a great video!

Google maps

Oh Google, is there anything you can do? Go to Google Maps and type in a city, bang! satellite picture of the city. Then take your pointer and grab that sucker and scroll all over the place without the screen having to reload. Looking for a location in that city? Search it up and boom! the results to your search all labeled nicely there for you.

Zoom in, zoom out, see an aerial shot of where you live or zoom in to look for fat kids. Wanna know the nearest pizza joint from your house? Do a local search on anything and have the results labeled all convenient like for you to pick and choose from. You'll even be given the option to get directions by typing in your current location. Handy!

Do with it what you like, but to see what Google Maps can do when it's really bogeying, might I suggest Calgary as a city to see the full potential of this software. The larger cities have much more detail in there imagery but even the town where I'm from with all its 500 people is easy to find with a nice aerial shot. Very slick!

(North America only)
Let's all dance with Google Maps!

Mario covers bare cans and people actually don't mind at all!

So many exposed cans in the summer sun can be dangerous and Pepsi cola knows this. Which is why every summer they release a series of 30 can toppers to stick on your big ol cans. And that's what you'd do...if you're a sucker.

But, if you had any common sense you'd know not to waste the attractiveness of these little guys by sticking them on your bottles, but to celebrate their collectibility by displaying your complete collection on the mantle piece in hopes it distracts your visitors from actually noticing the rotten mess you teeth are sure to become after drinking 50+ bottles of Pepsi in a short few weeks.

This year Pepsi has decided to celebrate Mario's roots by releasing a set of cap toppers donning Mario, his wild and crazy brother Luigi and other memorable characters in their original 8-bit form.



Lovely, aren't they? You may also find it interesting to know that they smell really delicious! New tire smell delicious, not fresh bread delicious.

Admitably, there's not much point to these little guys. Other than to be what Arthur Fonzerelli is to a broken juke box or Charlie Manson is to crazy; and that is to be absolutely necessary. I'm beginning to view these as some sort of passage into manhood and do not recognize anyone without a complete set as someone who has reached their full potential as a human. Sorry, but that what happens to your mind when you possess tangible cool. You begin to de-evolve those you love into categories not quite as cool as the one you inhabit.

Amputrees

It's no secret to people that have been to Japan to know that this country likes things straight, flat, smooth, preferably concrete (but any artificial material is ok) and definitely under no circumstances shall something be unpredictable. (The schools even dedicate a day to rehearse a sports day for Pete's sake, but that's another story.)

Sometimes the result is appealing and some may even describe it as modern, but most of the time this modernization is at a cost to nature and controlling it in unnatural ways. Which can be seen in the way all the mountains running parallel to roads have a concrete shell covering their natural shape and the way rivers have all been made into straight concrete shutes destroying any beauty they carried before.
There can be reasons and excuses given to these modifications like the new "rivers" can handle more water and are safer for the people living around them during heavy rain periods. Or the mountains with the concrete slathered up and down the sides prevent any rocks breaking off and falling onto the roads below during earthquakes which is all well and good.

But there's still one thing that happens yearly that I've never been able to figure out, and that's the annual hacking the limbs off the trees. Apparently every year before the leaves can turn brown and fall to the ground, the man gets the trees first by cutting off the leafy branches before the horrible brown mass of leaves can litter the ground. The end result of this is an ugly bare pole with little foot long stumps sticking out.

This can be seen all over the country. The trees are not cut because they pose a threat to power lines (which there are a tangled mess of) or a trim to promote healthier growth and a better tree, but just so they can get the leaves off the streets before they get a chance to fall off and become "litter".

There are beautiful parts of the country, but that's just the thing. There are only parts. The places that have been proven as naturally beautiful are preserved and photographed for the tour books and given a price of admission and the normal parts are cut up, covered up, and barracaded into controllable environments. With so much potential being mistreated, it really is a shame.

"Come one, come all and witness Mother Nature's disfigured seedlings as you'd never believe possible! Stay close to your parents boys and girls, wouldn't want to lose any of your little tootsies now would we?! Step right up!"

Behold Amputrees!

Cleared: Resident Evil 4

Coming in at 20 hours, 2 discs and a whole lot of "not zombies" is 2005's biggest contender for game of the year.

I can't write a lot about Resident Evil 4 that hasn't been said already so I'll just reinforce that this is one of the best games out there today.

Previous entries in the series have been of the campy b-movie sense, were game-play is a bit slower and paced a little more cinematicly with main obstacles being strange puzzle designs that didn't make a lot of sense to obtain keys to further your progress. After Resident Evil 3: Nemisis the series started to loose steam with its sub-plot games like Code: Veronica and Outbreak to the point where a release wasn't all that much to get excited about.

Capcom knew this and as a result set off to turn the series on its head and not release another RE game until they had a product that was fresh, beautiful and very exciting to play. Their dedication has been noted by their continuous scrapping of potential products. It wasn't until the third time trying to make the newest Resident Evil game that they knew they had something with a whole lot of potential.

The newest game is set 6 years after Nemesis with our old friend Leon now working for the U.S. secret service on an assignment to check out the disappearance of the presidents daughter. He's brought all the way to Spain and discovers a cult with its followers under the influence of some greater power that causes them to disregard any personal well-being, as long as they head strong their orders; the orders in our newest adventure is to stop Leon at all costs, which in return leads to all sorts of intense and bloody situations.

Capcom has made it clear time and time again that you are not fighting zombies in this game. And it's true that your not fighting the traditional type because these new enemies (oh the variety and volume!) have some of the smartest AI I've ever seen. Draw a bead from your gun on their head and they dodge the shot. Stand in place for too long and they instinctively swarm you.

Qualms from past games have thankfully been addressed such as the camera and controller issues synonymous with the series. Now you'll find the camera positioned behind the protagonist, drawing in closer when you take aim also dropping peripheral vision by about 15%. And you can also forget about conserving ammo! For the most part anyway. If and when you're low, cap a mother in the knee to bring them down and try out the new melee moves accessible with a quick and intuitive press of the "A" button. You won't find any deep fighting mechanics but drawing from the newly implemented "hot spot" situations, the "A" button will account for a variety of moves from jumping out windows, pushing down ladders or round housing a not zombie who gets in a little too close.

The addition to all this new gravy is the merchant and money system which deepens the game very effectively. Do you upgrade to a stronger weapon (which there are plenty), or upgrade the cashe you have with stronger attributes such as faster loading, larger magazine or more fire power? Another question is, do you have enough room to hold everything you want? Some quick resource management and shuffling items around your item box will answer that.

But you better save some space for a whole lot of fire power because you're going to need it for the bosses Capcom has lined up for you. The fact is, Resident Evil 4 has some of the coolest, most satisfying boss fights ever created. You're put up against some absolutely huge, amazingly designed creatures that lurch or stomp around with such a sense of heaviness that'll be sure to give you goose bumps.

The amount of variety, fun gun play, locals, situations, new shop/upgrading features, controller set up and pacing of events have easily turned this into an instant classic.

Resident Evil 4 comes with the highest recommendation.

Pros:

Very satisfying play that doesn't tire.

New weapon leveling a welcome addition.

Sheer variety and authenticity of locals to creep through.

Unlockables for much replayability.

Has that rare power to make you play for a minute after the last save point to just see what's ahead before you turn the game off but holds you for another hour.

Cons:

Movement much improved but still not as nimble as I was hoping.

Has lost its ability to really freak you out.

The story could've used a lot more shaking up. Serves as more of a catalyst than something to keep you guessing.

Nintendo so awesome even the supernatural are getting in on the fun. Creepy!

On March 9th a user by the name of cascron posted a most peculiar item on Ebay. No, it wasn't the air guitar or a grilled cheese sandwich that had Jesus' image deliciously grilled into it... It wasn't even the ghost in the jar...... no this time we are looking at an original Nintendo Entertainment System that seems to have a chatty resident still residing inside.

Come see the Nintendo from beyond the grave!

According to his personal accounts, he's convinced that after buying this system from a pawn shop and taking it home and starting it up, creepy things began to happen. The cat wouldn't come within 5 feet of it and began having very restless nights, chills would run up and down his spine during play, the machine would pause at intense moments of gameplay. But the most startling point of this system is that once powered on, a voice would appear faintly behind the music mumbling or laughing during gameplay.

He writes that even numerous friends he has shown this ghastly game system have experienced the very same thing he describes and even his fiance won't let him turn it on with her in the house, so he's decided to look for a better home for it by selling it on ebay.

Some users have noticed if you put some filters on a photograph provided, you can make out a face.

Read on about his story and discover the background history of this Necro-Nintendo and other startling facts!

Violence Killer!

Last November/December Yumiko had her wisdom teeth taken out and her face blew up into all sorts of funny shapes and colors and she couldn't eat right or run. It was a little sad and a little funny because it looked like she was storing up some nuts for the winter in her cheeks.

Just the other day when I was sorting through the pictures on the computer I came across Yumiko's "wisdom teeth" pictures and thought they would be the perfect garnish to how I feel about Japanese sandwiches.

And a 1, 2, 3.


This is a warning to all the restaurants out there who won't hold the mustard! Why can't you make my damn sandwich minus the mustard! You tell me it doesn't follow the menu and the chef can't make exception's! You tell me "Just scrape it off before eating" but the foul taste is still there! Exception this you son of a bitch!

WHAM!

And then when I try to dodge the chef and buy a premade sandwich I can't find a single one without eggs or wasabi in them stinkin' the place up!

What happened? Did General Perry roll up to Japan on his ship the first time asking to come in and after getting rejected had his voodoo head hunter place a terrible sandwich curse on this island?

"What, you won't let me in? We'll see about that...and in the meantime lets see to it you'll never learn how to make sandwiches. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Something must have happened because nobody can seem to make a sandwich without eggs or wasabi being as important as the bread. You can put whatever else you want on top of it, but that bastard is still going to taste like eggs and wasabi. And its been going on like this for years. No wonder the sandwich is so unpopular. It tastes like shit and everyone agrees and nothings done about it.

(Yes, I speak for everyone)

Even the "Subway" sandwich here tastes like garbage compared to the real deal. I bet the Earl of Sandwich is in his grave spinning like a convenience store hotdog over this.

Now you're thinking, "Make your own sandwich you bum!", right? Do you know how many hoops you have to jump through to make a good sandwich here? It's a whole lot and still you've got the taste made from substitutions of substitutions of the real thing; plus you'll be dead broke from the effort.

Take THIS!

BAM!

SANDWICHES!!!

These aren't the most flattering pictures of Yumiko so let's not say anything to her about this post, shall we?

I spy, with my little eye, something...... that looks like....

Subject #1: 7-11

Here we see our subject for today. A recently built 7-11. A Mecca of convenience, efficiency and marked up goods.

But I sensed something just wasn't right and moved in for a closer look.

Ah ha! I knew it. Something was definitely fishy with the wall.



The bricks seem to be a little flatter than usual. Hmmm. It's almost as if I weren't looking at bricks at all, but in fact a picture of some bricks. Almost...



Ah, yes! The smoking gun to our little problem. As you can see, the corner is a flat edge. If it were a brick corner we were observing we would most certainly see more grooves and such.

That does it! I hereby sentence this wall to be a FAKE! Yes, it is guilty of being a photograph and posing as a brick wall. May GOD have mercy on your synthetic fibers! Now sell me some juice!

(Hey, look! My car!)