Tobacco 1996-2004

October first of two thousand and four, I, Mr. fatwreck lost one of the greatest things I have ever known. I lost the stumbling smiles it gave me, the feeling of a warm intoxicating hug blanketed around me when we would chat after big meals and I lost one of the best drinking partners my eyes have ever known. Yes, my old friend tobacco is gone forever.

People said, "Hey....dude, you know that's not good for you, right?" And I would reply back, "If this is bad, I donwanna know what good feels like." Then they'd say, "Hey.....dude.....you, you know, you're gonna get cancer some day." and I'd say, "Hey....you know you're gonna get a fat lip if you don't shut your trap?"

And do you know why I could pull off such attitude? Because of the numbing effects of sweet darling nicotine and because smoking makes you look tough. Really, really tough.

And some people would say, "Hey....you know if you quit now, the air will smell sweeter, you food will taste better, and you will feel more fit than you ever have in a long time. You'll also gain the power of flight!"

"Flight?", I'd say, "That sounds marvelous! I'd surely give up one of my very most favorite acts to gain the power of the birds!" So they told me to learn how to fly, I'd have to give up smoking and follow them to the hospital to hollow out my bones, to mimic the skeletal structure of a bird.

"Strange." I thought, "I'm kind of partial to my bone marrow you know." Prepared for that type of response, they comforted me and reassured me that I wouldn't miss a thing. Then they reminded me just how awesome it would be to fly to the grocery store and commit cheeky highjinx. And with that, they had me on a string.

After the painful operation, the two who offered me flight filled days were gone with only a bill and weak immune system left to remind me there was ever a dream in the first place. I discovered later when passing up a bus ride in favor of flight, that they never had the power to grant me wings and they just wanted my marrow. And on top of that, everytime I have a cigarette I past out because my blood has changed so much from not having anything left in my bones. Just my luck.

It's true I smell better without the smoke in my clothes, but now I actually know how my body naturally smells which will take some getting used to. And food tastes exactly the same as it did before but without the glorious cigarette book end. And although I still can't fly, I'm the only 6 foot 1 horse jockey on the tour cause I'm as light as a feather. So that's kinda cool. But not as cool as one looks with a cigarette.