Bye bye

This blog has closed down. It's intention was something my friends and family could look to to see what I was up to while living in Japan. Since I am no longer there, there is no reason to keep updating. I've got a new site over at www.pidlisny.com for those interested.

So long!

Holy shit I love the internet.

Meet The Flying Spaghetti Monster



I'd heard about the Flying Spaghetti Monster before but I never realized the following he's created until just the other night. It was the link to a Wikipedia entry that got me hip to the whole thing.

By the looks of things, this is some parody religion called Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (FSM) with its followers calling themselves "Pastafarians" "preaching the word of their "noodly master" as the one true religion." and have prayers ending with the word Ramen rather than Amen.

If you are in the market for a rad religion to convert to you can look forward to many benefits in FSM.

Like the noodles they worship, Flying Spaghetti Monsterists have flimsy moral standards.

Every Friday is a religious holiday.

Promise of a stripper factory and a beer volcano in Heaven.

Now, what does all this silly non-sense mean? Well, you see the Flying Spaghetti Monster was created as a result of the Kansas board of educations decision to allow Creationism/Intelligent Design* equal time as Evolution in the classroom science lessons. It says that if teachers were to teach the theory of evolution, then in turn, it should teach other theories, such as how Christians believe how the universe came to be. A God created it all including evidence linked to evolution and it was all in His grand design for things to be the way they've become.

What FSM is saying is that if we were to allow Intelligent Design in the classroom then how many theories/what theories should be allowed/acknowledged. The whole reasoning behind their decision is to teach as much as they can about how different people believe differently about how the world came to be and let the students ultimately decide for themselves.

His noodly master has purpose.

Read The Flying Spaghetti Monster's entire history here.

*The theory of intelligent design says life on earth is too complex to have developed through evolution, implying that a higher power must have had a hand in creation. Nearly all scientists dismiss it as a scientific theory, and critics say it's nothing more than religion masquerading as science.

Strawberry Jam? Yes, please!

Seems J-pop idol, Ai Otsuka, is getting a little freaky in her newly released b side single that's gaining all sorts of notoriety for it's racy lyrics.

"Once in my mouth, I am addicted to the taste that spreads. Ever since, I acquired the taste of it, I can't help but continue eating it. I am about to shed my tears, but I want to put it in my mouth. I want to keep putting it in my mouth. You keep moving, ahhhh."


Says a track which, coincidently doesn't have it's lyrics printed on the album sleeve The track name is "Tsukune 70 yen" (70yen meatloaf) for those who want to hear it for themselves.

I don't know what all the commotion is over this. I've been saying this kind of stuff since I was about 2 and you don't see people up in arms around me. I feel a hit single coming on...see you on the charts Ai Otsuka, if that's your real name. And wash your face.

Link

Japan has small things and very big things!

I saw a lot of things in Japan. Some of them were very small, like this small truck. I don't know what it was other than a small truck.



Other things are very big. Such as this traffic light. This intersection is famous for just how many accidents have occured here. Naturally the biggest light in the country being installed will solve the problem because that's exactly what has happened! Look at it in proporiton to our bodies! HUGE!

Ok, I'm back in a semi regular basis

Yes, after a long nice summer vacation of demolishion work with trogs and drinking and looking for residence and visiting friends I'm back posting some stuff on a semi regular basis. Maybe once a week. Ya, that sounds good and do-able. So expect one post on a weekly basis.

I've got a wedding supper on the burner for October and school at the end of the month with my lovely wife coming into the country at about the same time, so lots to look forward to.

Till next week!

Long time no see.

Ok, I know I've only updated once since the end of April, but there's a good reason for this you see.

Number 1. Working a summer job. Doing demolition work outside for 10 hours a day leaving me tired and sleepy at the end of the day not wanting to write anything on here.

Number 2. I moved back to Canada. Yes, I don't find doing nothing exciting enough to post about. When I decide to do something, I'll post. (After summer job)

Number 3. I'm very very lazy.

Number 4. I'm not an English teacher in Japan anymore. That job provided all sorts of time to sit on the computer and look busy while I actually just wrote things for this to past the time. Now I don't do that, so once my life gets another routine providing me with some time to waste a few times a week, I'll know what to do.

So like I said, once things get some predictability going you can expect this place to be dusted off again and open for all sorts of funny pieces only a few people may care about.

I'm sitting on a whole bunch of junk just waiting to be updated and I've got a lot of (interesting) pictures and stories left over from Japan waiting to be posted and talked about so just be patient.

Oh and in other news, I was accepted to the program I applied to at SAIT. You can read about it here.

(and a special thanks to Glen who recommended this course to me. I probably wouldn't have known about it otherwise.)

I especially like the part when they said,

STUDENT SUCCESS

Students with higher grades usually experience more success in SAIT
programs.

Good to know.

Everybody have a great summer and I'll be back in about a months time.

Killer 7 Hands-on

Gamecube Advanced has some very revealing hands on gameplay on the, till now, very mysterious Capcom game Killer 7. Hurrah!


Check it out!

Electroplankton Video

If any one is interested in music and remotely interested in videogames or the Nintendo DS, take a look at this 15 minute video and see for yourself why the DS hardware is so exciting simply because of its untapped potential. This isn't a game in the traditional sense. It's just a tool to make music and to mess around with sounds. No high scores or battling. Just sitting around making music. I needs me some Electroplankton!

Electroplankton video.

Thanks to 4 color rebellion for providing such a great video!

Google maps

Oh Google, is there anything you can do? Go to Google Maps and type in a city, bang! satellite picture of the city. Then take your pointer and grab that sucker and scroll all over the place without the screen having to reload. Looking for a location in that city? Search it up and boom! the results to your search all labeled nicely there for you.

Zoom in, zoom out, see an aerial shot of where you live or zoom in to look for fat kids. Wanna know the nearest pizza joint from your house? Do a local search on anything and have the results labeled all convenient like for you to pick and choose from. You'll even be given the option to get directions by typing in your current location. Handy!

Do with it what you like, but to see what Google Maps can do when it's really bogeying, might I suggest Calgary as a city to see the full potential of this software. The larger cities have much more detail in there imagery but even the town where I'm from with all its 500 people is easy to find with a nice aerial shot. Very slick!

(North America only)
Let's all dance with Google Maps!

Mario covers bare cans and people actually don't mind at all!

So many exposed cans in the summer sun can be dangerous and Pepsi cola knows this. Which is why every summer they release a series of 30 can toppers to stick on your big ol cans. And that's what you'd do...if you're a sucker.

But, if you had any common sense you'd know not to waste the attractiveness of these little guys by sticking them on your bottles, but to celebrate their collectibility by displaying your complete collection on the mantle piece in hopes it distracts your visitors from actually noticing the rotten mess you teeth are sure to become after drinking 50+ bottles of Pepsi in a short few weeks.

This year Pepsi has decided to celebrate Mario's roots by releasing a set of cap toppers donning Mario, his wild and crazy brother Luigi and other memorable characters in their original 8-bit form.



Lovely, aren't they? You may also find it interesting to know that they smell really delicious! New tire smell delicious, not fresh bread delicious.

Admitably, there's not much point to these little guys. Other than to be what Arthur Fonzerelli is to a broken juke box or Charlie Manson is to crazy; and that is to be absolutely necessary. I'm beginning to view these as some sort of passage into manhood and do not recognize anyone without a complete set as someone who has reached their full potential as a human. Sorry, but that what happens to your mind when you possess tangible cool. You begin to de-evolve those you love into categories not quite as cool as the one you inhabit.

Amputrees

It's no secret to people that have been to Japan to know that this country likes things straight, flat, smooth, preferably concrete (but any artificial material is ok) and definitely under no circumstances shall something be unpredictable. (The schools even dedicate a day to rehearse a sports day for Pete's sake, but that's another story.)

Sometimes the result is appealing and some may even describe it as modern, but most of the time this modernization is at a cost to nature and controlling it in unnatural ways. Which can be seen in the way all the mountains running parallel to roads have a concrete shell covering their natural shape and the way rivers have all been made into straight concrete shutes destroying any beauty they carried before.
There can be reasons and excuses given to these modifications like the new "rivers" can handle more water and are safer for the people living around them during heavy rain periods. Or the mountains with the concrete slathered up and down the sides prevent any rocks breaking off and falling onto the roads below during earthquakes which is all well and good.

But there's still one thing that happens yearly that I've never been able to figure out, and that's the annual hacking the limbs off the trees. Apparently every year before the leaves can turn brown and fall to the ground, the man gets the trees first by cutting off the leafy branches before the horrible brown mass of leaves can litter the ground. The end result of this is an ugly bare pole with little foot long stumps sticking out.

This can be seen all over the country. The trees are not cut because they pose a threat to power lines (which there are a tangled mess of) or a trim to promote healthier growth and a better tree, but just so they can get the leaves off the streets before they get a chance to fall off and become "litter".

There are beautiful parts of the country, but that's just the thing. There are only parts. The places that have been proven as naturally beautiful are preserved and photographed for the tour books and given a price of admission and the normal parts are cut up, covered up, and barracaded into controllable environments. With so much potential being mistreated, it really is a shame.

"Come one, come all and witness Mother Nature's disfigured seedlings as you'd never believe possible! Stay close to your parents boys and girls, wouldn't want to lose any of your little tootsies now would we?! Step right up!"

Behold Amputrees!

Cleared: Resident Evil 4

Coming in at 20 hours, 2 discs and a whole lot of "not zombies" is 2005's biggest contender for game of the year.

I can't write a lot about Resident Evil 4 that hasn't been said already so I'll just reinforce that this is one of the best games out there today.

Previous entries in the series have been of the campy b-movie sense, were game-play is a bit slower and paced a little more cinematicly with main obstacles being strange puzzle designs that didn't make a lot of sense to obtain keys to further your progress. After Resident Evil 3: Nemisis the series started to loose steam with its sub-plot games like Code: Veronica and Outbreak to the point where a release wasn't all that much to get excited about.

Capcom knew this and as a result set off to turn the series on its head and not release another RE game until they had a product that was fresh, beautiful and very exciting to play. Their dedication has been noted by their continuous scrapping of potential products. It wasn't until the third time trying to make the newest Resident Evil game that they knew they had something with a whole lot of potential.

The newest game is set 6 years after Nemesis with our old friend Leon now working for the U.S. secret service on an assignment to check out the disappearance of the presidents daughter. He's brought all the way to Spain and discovers a cult with its followers under the influence of some greater power that causes them to disregard any personal well-being, as long as they head strong their orders; the orders in our newest adventure is to stop Leon at all costs, which in return leads to all sorts of intense and bloody situations.

Capcom has made it clear time and time again that you are not fighting zombies in this game. And it's true that your not fighting the traditional type because these new enemies (oh the variety and volume!) have some of the smartest AI I've ever seen. Draw a bead from your gun on their head and they dodge the shot. Stand in place for too long and they instinctively swarm you.

Qualms from past games have thankfully been addressed such as the camera and controller issues synonymous with the series. Now you'll find the camera positioned behind the protagonist, drawing in closer when you take aim also dropping peripheral vision by about 15%. And you can also forget about conserving ammo! For the most part anyway. If and when you're low, cap a mother in the knee to bring them down and try out the new melee moves accessible with a quick and intuitive press of the "A" button. You won't find any deep fighting mechanics but drawing from the newly implemented "hot spot" situations, the "A" button will account for a variety of moves from jumping out windows, pushing down ladders or round housing a not zombie who gets in a little too close.

The addition to all this new gravy is the merchant and money system which deepens the game very effectively. Do you upgrade to a stronger weapon (which there are plenty), or upgrade the cashe you have with stronger attributes such as faster loading, larger magazine or more fire power? Another question is, do you have enough room to hold everything you want? Some quick resource management and shuffling items around your item box will answer that.

But you better save some space for a whole lot of fire power because you're going to need it for the bosses Capcom has lined up for you. The fact is, Resident Evil 4 has some of the coolest, most satisfying boss fights ever created. You're put up against some absolutely huge, amazingly designed creatures that lurch or stomp around with such a sense of heaviness that'll be sure to give you goose bumps.

The amount of variety, fun gun play, locals, situations, new shop/upgrading features, controller set up and pacing of events have easily turned this into an instant classic.

Resident Evil 4 comes with the highest recommendation.

Pros:

Very satisfying play that doesn't tire.

New weapon leveling a welcome addition.

Sheer variety and authenticity of locals to creep through.

Unlockables for much replayability.

Has that rare power to make you play for a minute after the last save point to just see what's ahead before you turn the game off but holds you for another hour.

Cons:

Movement much improved but still not as nimble as I was hoping.

Has lost its ability to really freak you out.

The story could've used a lot more shaking up. Serves as more of a catalyst than something to keep you guessing.

Nintendo so awesome even the supernatural are getting in on the fun. Creepy!

On March 9th a user by the name of cascron posted a most peculiar item on Ebay. No, it wasn't the air guitar or a grilled cheese sandwich that had Jesus' image deliciously grilled into it... It wasn't even the ghost in the jar...... no this time we are looking at an original Nintendo Entertainment System that seems to have a chatty resident still residing inside.

Come see the Nintendo from beyond the grave!

According to his personal accounts, he's convinced that after buying this system from a pawn shop and taking it home and starting it up, creepy things began to happen. The cat wouldn't come within 5 feet of it and began having very restless nights, chills would run up and down his spine during play, the machine would pause at intense moments of gameplay. But the most startling point of this system is that once powered on, a voice would appear faintly behind the music mumbling or laughing during gameplay.

He writes that even numerous friends he has shown this ghastly game system have experienced the very same thing he describes and even his fiance won't let him turn it on with her in the house, so he's decided to look for a better home for it by selling it on ebay.

Some users have noticed if you put some filters on a photograph provided, you can make out a face.

Read on about his story and discover the background history of this Necro-Nintendo and other startling facts!

Violence Killer!

Last November/December Yumiko had her wisdom teeth taken out and her face blew up into all sorts of funny shapes and colors and she couldn't eat right or run. It was a little sad and a little funny because it looked like she was storing up some nuts for the winter in her cheeks.

Just the other day when I was sorting through the pictures on the computer I came across Yumiko's "wisdom teeth" pictures and thought they would be the perfect garnish to how I feel about Japanese sandwiches.

And a 1, 2, 3.


This is a warning to all the restaurants out there who won't hold the mustard! Why can't you make my damn sandwich minus the mustard! You tell me it doesn't follow the menu and the chef can't make exception's! You tell me "Just scrape it off before eating" but the foul taste is still there! Exception this you son of a bitch!

WHAM!

And then when I try to dodge the chef and buy a premade sandwich I can't find a single one without eggs or wasabi in them stinkin' the place up!

What happened? Did General Perry roll up to Japan on his ship the first time asking to come in and after getting rejected had his voodoo head hunter place a terrible sandwich curse on this island?

"What, you won't let me in? We'll see about that...and in the meantime lets see to it you'll never learn how to make sandwiches. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Something must have happened because nobody can seem to make a sandwich without eggs or wasabi being as important as the bread. You can put whatever else you want on top of it, but that bastard is still going to taste like eggs and wasabi. And its been going on like this for years. No wonder the sandwich is so unpopular. It tastes like shit and everyone agrees and nothings done about it.

(Yes, I speak for everyone)

Even the "Subway" sandwich here tastes like garbage compared to the real deal. I bet the Earl of Sandwich is in his grave spinning like a convenience store hotdog over this.

Now you're thinking, "Make your own sandwich you bum!", right? Do you know how many hoops you have to jump through to make a good sandwich here? It's a whole lot and still you've got the taste made from substitutions of substitutions of the real thing; plus you'll be dead broke from the effort.

Take THIS!

BAM!

SANDWICHES!!!

These aren't the most flattering pictures of Yumiko so let's not say anything to her about this post, shall we?

I spy, with my little eye, something...... that looks like....

Subject #1: 7-11

Here we see our subject for today. A recently built 7-11. A Mecca of convenience, efficiency and marked up goods.

But I sensed something just wasn't right and moved in for a closer look.

Ah ha! I knew it. Something was definitely fishy with the wall.



The bricks seem to be a little flatter than usual. Hmmm. It's almost as if I weren't looking at bricks at all, but in fact a picture of some bricks. Almost...



Ah, yes! The smoking gun to our little problem. As you can see, the corner is a flat edge. If it were a brick corner we were observing we would most certainly see more grooves and such.

That does it! I hereby sentence this wall to be a FAKE! Yes, it is guilty of being a photograph and posing as a brick wall. May GOD have mercy on your synthetic fibers! Now sell me some juice!

(Hey, look! My car!)

Must...join..North.. Korean... Friendship....Association...

This link is completely awesome, not only because the music in it takes a nice swing from tired to rockin', but because it's a slide show from North Korea's Friendship Association encouraging foreign travelers to come check out the land that Kim built! (BTW, Happy Birthday Kim!) Yes, you can now go to North Korea and rub elbow with the locals and experience life as they are told to do. Seems North Korea is partial to electric guitars and songs with Kim's name in it. GREAT!

Get your shake on and pay your respects to Dear Leader.

Let's North Korea Travel!!!"

Can't stop....watching....

Thanks to Boing Boing for hosting and being so spiffy and to the guy who brought our attention to the site.

I'm moving but I'm not moving.

My apologies for not updating for the past week and a half or so. Haven't really been busy, just doing my normal thing but very, very slowly. Went snowboarding yesterday and was a jumping/box sliding master (naturally) but am now patiently waiting for my sun burned face to heal and my old aching muscles to return to their usual flabby soft state.

I've got about 7 half finished entries so expect a bunch of old (but interesting!!!) updates over the next 2-3 weeks.

And the countdown to my grande return to the motherland begins as my trip to Japan is finally showing a sign of an end. It's been 32 months since I left for my 6 week internship in Tokyo and next month is the month that has been in my sites for a while now. It's a little hard to imagine this now since Japan has been my home for so long, but some change will be nice if not a little bitter sweet. But, there's still a lot to do before I go anywhere.

Recent Findings Ruins Life of Local Magician

Recently some scientists have come to a decision to relieve themselves from a secret that has been haunting their lives for years. In 2001 a scientist, who wishes to remain unnamed, made a discovery that has discredited all plotted star systems made thus far and has turned millions of dollars of tax payers money and thousands of man hours worked into a pile of poo-poo.

That finding has been labeled "Negative Refraction". Here's a short piece from their confession describing their obviously embarrassing blunder.

"Starlight may be bent in odd directions when it passes close to a rotating black hole, the researchers say, unexpectedly shifting its source's apparent position in the sky. The cause is a recently discovered phenomenon called negative refraction, which physicists are still struggling to understand.

Negative refraction is new to astronomy, but has been causing a stir in materials science in recent years. When light crosses a boundary, it is bent in a characteristic way; this is why an oar dipped in water looks as though the submerged part is angled towards the surface.

But in 2001, US researchers showed that certain artificial materials bend light in the opposite direction. If water had this property, the submerged oar would appear to angle away from the surface."

The unnamed researcher then got a shot in the arm and two for flinching.

Here to educate us more about Negative Refraction and his personal struggle is guest speaker Stan Scaryhands. Stan says that he's known about Negative Refraction for years and has been using it as part of his "Scaryhand Stan's Spectacular Magic Show" as early as the last few months.

He says he first discovered Negative Refraction, whilst on tour with his now defunct rock group "Blazer", when he noticed something strange during the lazer and pyrotechnic part of the show. He remembers the incident and said he felt really strange, like it was a result of years of acid abuse. (*He then soon corrected himself remembering he's never taken acid before.)

"I noticed things just weren't right with the Flaming Betty's right near Sty. (Long-time friend, bassist). He explained, "While my man (Sty) was doing a killer job of rockin` out, I noticed the light from the Betty's seemed to react strangely with his hair-do. Instead of just illuminating him, the light would dance, as if marinated by his man-mane. And when he spun his hair in a circular fashion, the light would bend away from him by an unseen force.

This perplexed and inspired Stan enough to make him quite the band and focus on his theory head on.

Some years later after intense research of lights reaction to big hair, Stan was able to harness his findings into a marketable and successful magic show which has been supporting him and his family comfortably for the past few months. He thought he had it made until that fate full day when news broke about Negative Refraction.

"Of course I was upset. I based my career and art around my findings; then all of a sudden, Mr. Scientist goes and tells the world what's up, ruining the secrets of my show in the process.

What am I supposed to do about my family? No one's going to watch my Magic Show now that they know my hands aren't magic. Stupid science. I'm ruined unless I can find an excuse to separate the two. Ruined!"

The very same unnamed scientist reported after catching the "Scaryhand Stan's Spectacular Magic Show" that it would have been really cool not knowing Stan's Scaryhands weren't really magic.

"Now it's just sad to see how Stan continues to cling to such an obvious parlor trick.", said the scientist coolly. "Even after explaining it to my kids, they too have lost interest in Stan's Scaryhands and his shallow use of Negative Refraction."

Computers got VD? Look no further!

A while ago I had a nasty bout with a virus that would hijack my homepage and throw all sorts of erotic pop-up ads at me. Which, for the first day or so, wasn't really a problem, but after a month of the same boobies popping up, I put my fear of doing something about it behind me and searched for a solution. And searched and searched. I found this wonderfully handy step by step guide from the nice people at Bleeping computer that held my hand until my computer was clean and sparkly.

Apparently a lot of computers have contracted this virus so I figured posting a link to a handy fix-it guide might help someone out in the future.

If your computer's home page keeps being forced to about.com or something you don't want, you might have the VD HomeOldSP lurking around your system. If this is true then look no further than here for a solution.

Plus it provides links to free Spyware software and stuff that you should already have on your computer but if you don't you can do it now.

I don't know for sure but I'd guess that if they had a great solution for this problem, then I wouldn't doubt they'd have a great solution for many other virus problems.

MoCCA Presents: NOW THEN!

This is a really awesome idea MoCCA (Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art) has going on. They took a bunch of really great artists and had them submit a drawing from their childhood, then MoCCA constructed a slide show that allows you to take a look at what they were drawing as a child what kind of style they've ultimately developed as and adult.

The results are really interesting showing some people had talent from the get go and some had no talent what so ever in their earlier years. Which proves you don't have to be born with it to draw. (But I'm sure it helps...)

Check out some of my favorites below, then go on the tour for yourself.

David Sheldon

NOW

THEN

Randall Enos

NOW

THEN

Just look for the "Stroll Through" button above the picture of the zombie head to get started.