Birds!

A few days ago I was hanging out in my room just watching tv when I noticed the birds outside where louder than usual. So instead of investigating I turned the volume up and continued watching only to notice the little buggers again a few minutes later. Fed up, I went to my window and saw this.



Birds everywhere, millions of them chirping and swooping at little girls riding their bikes. Loitering around on public power lines like they own the place and making a mess only a mother could love.

I couldn't believe their general lack of respect for parking their rear ends outside of my room and gabbing away, so I decided to take action.

"Hey!" I said. "Hey, you on the power lines....Ya, you with the wings! Waddaya think your doing over there? Huh? You best carry on before I start crackin' some heads around here!"

Nothing.

"Hey! Smelly birds! Hit the road! I'm trying to relax and your making a racket. If your going to eat the farmers seed, then do it and hit the next spot cause if you don't you'll be sorry!"

One of them turned. He took notice with me in the window.

"KAW!" He said. "KAW! KAW!" Again. They didn't take kindly to being called smelly, I could tell.

"KAW?" I chortled, "Kaw this ya filthy bastards!" Extending my left arm as far as it would go as I stuck up my middle finger. "That's right, I went there! And there's plenty more where that came from."



And with that little gesture, they were gone. Gone off to annoy another resident of our quaint neighborhood leaving me to feel like the man. Boo Yah!